LET’S TALK
I watched the Republican debate last week. Interesting how we get spoken to by our political leaders. Are these the best examples of how humans should speak to each other? Do they believe people will change their views by attempting to one-up each other? Say a zinger that will make us look at one person as a victor and the other as a victim? I can remember a vice-presidential candidate quoting John F. Kennedy. His debate opponent or sparing partner, without gloves, said, “You're no John F Kennedy.” That quote will always be remembered regarding the victim. Maybe the political debaters can wear masks and get WWF stage names. Give their moves catchy titles. “Figure four” was a popular professional wrestling move in my adolescence. It would hurt too. Back then, wrestling was all real. Maybe politics was, too.
Communication is an interesting subject. You have to think about what you want your result to look like. Shouting may make you feel better, but does it work? Your audience has two options in response. Either to holler back or shut you off. Venting kind of goes under the same category. No one will change a mindset or behavior with shouting. Perhaps your desired result is basically to feel better by getting words out. Kind of like an exorcism, but you don't need a priest, nor do heads turn around backward. Just an old-fashioned word-ass whipping. Sometimes it may be best just to do this in front of a mirror. By yourself. Are you listening, you budding upstarts attempting to win a thankless office?
I like using a particular technique I will describe. First, consider when a debate opponent vomits all over the stage (this is called "word vomit," and hopefully a gastronomical event does not follow). If that happens, call for reinforcements. Get a towel. Maybe show a little empathy for your fellow speaker. Only laugh inside. I think you won the discussion. What I appreciate about active listening is that you say something like, "Let me make sure I understand." Then you repeat the incoherent statement your fellow microphone holder made. He or she is stuck trying to comprehend the art of active listening. Feels like a jab in the midsection. Maybe even below the belt for you, boxing fans, which leaves them bent over.
If I were on the stage, I would lighten up the speakers’ tone. Maybe even say, " Wow, that's a great point.” There’s nothing wrong with having the other debaters rooting for you to finish second behind them while all the other viewers are rooting for you to win. In other words, give the others some credit. They couldn't have made it this far by being blithering idiots. Or could they?
Finally, take control of the whole aerobic exercise. Suggest to your fellow participants that we all take a deep breath. Look at them as if you have a medical degree, even though you didn't graduate at the top of your class. Say to them, "We are all in this together." Don't say, "When I win, I'm going to need your support." That statement will get them to put up their guard. Make yourself look vulnerable, like you care about them. Even though you considered the prison time you would serve for the assault charge, it will probably ruin your political career, so don’t do it. Unless you want to run for penitentiary president. Don't know if they have offices in prisons. You should check into this before pushing the entire opposing entourage down the stairs.
Anyway, be nice at the end. Walk over and tell your fellow debater you appreciate their efforts to go out and speak their views. You could hand out merit badges if you want to go overboard. Just make them feel appreciated. You could stick a knife in their back later if necessary. Hopefully, they will drift away as they become irrelevant.
There are a few of my ideas to make debates more palatable. I doubt I'll get much attention with my suggestions. My feeling is that if you aren't going to back up your false accusations, don't bother throwing the words out there. Lighten up. Life is too short to be hostile. Getting along is way more satisfactory. The world is better for it, too.