PARENTS’ DAY
I will use my example of coaching Little League baseball. It starts with being told you are in charge. Well, maybe they call you a leader. Or you may just want to help. So many times, the experience is dictated by how the rules of engagement are set up. I will share how, in the beginning, the parents I was exposed to ended up coaching me on the necessity of getting organized.
This is how Little League baseball works. You show up to take your future major leaguer to be part of the hometown organization. A gentleman you have never seen before comes around the table to introduce himself and ask if you would consider “helping” with the team. This was many years ago. Nowadays, they would probably preface the ask with, "Have you ever been convicted of a felony, or are you on a sexual predator list?” Those would be hard questions to ask someone you have just been introduced to, but I think they would be appropriate in today's world.
Anyway, helping in Little League is code for You Are Now the Head Coach. Besides the head coach, the other coaches have already selected a group of juvenile delinquents to form the team. Now your son is part of this team too. It was so bad in my first season that I never saw so many taillights heading out of the parking lot as soon as their sons were dropped off. Also, didn’t realize these same parents were such experts when it came to game day. Why is my son batting 8th? Shouldn’t Johnny be pitching? Can’t Steven play shortstop for this game? No, Steven has not been to practice in two weeks. Lots of good advice on how to win games, too. Although my gifted team was pummeled by the experienced, coached teams every week, my job was to keep the kids upbeat and improving.
But we had fun. We realized the major leagues were going to be far, far away. Encouraged these kids to study hard. And I learned a lot. Hence, the creation of Parents' Day. And this event will work for all get-togethers where an organization needs to be established. Parents' Day is mandatory. I tried to go through every scenario I could think of. I set expectations, like wanting to keep your child from serving time. Possibly hold down a job someday. Support his parents in the latter stages of their lives. Nothing like being a failed comedian. Fun is also included. Letting the coach enjoy their newfound part-time job is important, too.
Rules of engagement: if you have unexcused absences, then you don’t get to start the game. Except when you only have 9 eligible players, and one hasn’t been there in a while. I guess some rules have to be broken. Sitting on the bench is not a punishment. Nor is playing outfield. My own kids sat on the bench as much as anyone. We actually had fun in the dugout, much to the surprise of many parents. I pretty much coach baseball as a socialist. Everyone played about the same amount. Means the superstar gets a dose of humility just like everyone else. More than likely, he is ok with it. As long as his parents don’t chirp all the way home about the coach's ineptness. Did I say this is a volunteer job?
Whatever the event, having everybody gathered together so they could all hear the same message. State your philosophy, goals, and ways to approach problems. Ask at the end if anyone has any questions about balks, hit and runs, or infield fly rules. But someone may ask if the team provides transportation from the player's house to the field. Then you can answer as diplomatically as your voice allows with a NO. At the end, you have formed a verbal contract with the 12 sets of parents, or at least one parent per child.
You can refer back to this meeting when approached throughout the season. You will still be asked the same questions you thought had already been addressed. Don’t call a timeout and go into the stands to verbally trash some mom who says, “Kill those guys!!” Let some other parents in the stands deal with that.
But do establish how you need all of us to help make sure we work together. And have fun. Good luck, you unsuspecting volunteer “helpers” of the future. The world will be better for your involvement.